Biological Reasons

Many social behaviorists have studied jealousy and the consequences on a scientific level for years. Jealousy seems to be something that occurs in humans for a good reason. When you start to feel jealous, the brains instinct is to do something that counters the jealousy. So if you are jealous that your partner is with another swinger, it motivates you on an unconscious level to be a better lover than they are, and this could be one of the reasons jealousy makes so many people horny.

Playing The Images

Another reason that swingers can use jealousy to their advantage is just through thought. While you are swinging, you are either watching your partner with someone else, or imagining them in a compromising position with someone else. Just playing these images is enough to spark both a little jealousy and a lot of sexual energy. Sometimes the two emotions meld together, and lead to jealousy becoming an aphrodisiac.

When It’s Unhealthy

While jealousy in swinging is common and can enhance the sexual experiences, it can also be unhealthy for the relationship. If the jealousy starts to lead to trust issues, or you can’t come together as a partnership to talk about potential issues, then the jealousy can be overwhelming and eventually lead to the demise of the relationship.

Set Guidelines

As a couple that swings guidelines are crucial. These don’t need to cover every single aspect that could come up, but they should at least cover the basics. Before you start swinging you want to sit down and work out what you are okay with. If your partner mentions an activity that sparks jealousy in your mind, it should be brought up and talked about. Having a list of do’s and don’ts won’t eliminate jealousy, but it will help minimize it.

Be Flexible

It’s common to have a list of rules, but then something happens at a club or party that causes jealousy. It could be for a variety of reasons that it comes up. Whatever the reason, you and your partner need to stop what you are doing and discuss this in private. You don’t need to change all of your rules on the spot, but you should discuss the current situation before it gets out of hand.

Be Realistic

If you get jealous when you think about your partner being with someone else, closed swinging may not be a good option. You may want to opt for more open situations, or soft swinging. As you further involve yourself in the community you can address and expand the rules as needed.

Talk to Your Partner

In most cases if your partner genuinely cares about you they will be open to suggestions. Before you consider cheating, sit down and figure out what it is about the fantasy that turns you on the most, and ask your partner to set aside some time to discuss it.

Be Prepared to Compromise

If you ask your partner to do something that is outside of their comfort zone, don’t assume they are willing to drop what they feel is out of the ordinary to make you happy. As a couple, you share a partnership and you may need to compromise. Find out what aspects make you uncomfortable, and go from there. You may be surprised at how far they are willing to go. Also be prepared for requests of their own. They may have a fantasy they want to play out, and if they are willing to help you with yours, you will need to help them with theirs as well.

Be Realistic

If you are with a woman who is very thin, a fantasy involving being with a voluptuous woman will not play out. They will probably not be open to you sleeping with someone else unless you are swingers and have discussed it beforehand. It’s important to understand that there are limits that just aren’t possible to cross, regardless of how open your partner is.

Sex In the Vicinity

In closed swinging, two partners split off from one another and have sex with others behind closed doors. Their partners are not in the room to see what is going on. The idea is that they can be more open with their sexual partners without other people in the room. Closed swinging can eventually lead to other activities, and it’s a good way to become introduced to the lifestyle without worrying about others watching and making you uncomfortable.

Setting Rules

Since your partner isn’t with you as you swing in a closed swinging situation, trust and rules reign supreme. You have to have trust that your partner is going to follow the rules. You also must have very clear rules for what is and is not allowed. Without this, open swinging will never work out.

Open With Other Swingers

In most cases open swinging refers to the activities that are allowed with in parties and swinging events. Those who practice open swinging are okay with their partners going off with other people, and they don’t expect their partner to be around. This makes the experience completely open, and can be a lot of fun for everyone involved. Some open swingers will also allow their partners to be with multiple people, so gang bangs, orgies, and threesomes aren’t off limits.

Open Entirely

Some couples enjoy a completely open relationship, and refer to themselves as open swingers. These couples don’t necessarily limit their interactions to just swinging events. For some, the thought of their partner being with someone else outside the relationship is a turn on, and this type of open swinging can be beneficial to those.

Jealousy Issues

It’s not common to find open swingers as other types of swingers. Open swinging involves a lot of trust, and jealousy must be dealt with head on to prevent problems in the relationship. You must completely trust your partner to follow the rules, even when you aren’t around in order for an open swinging situation to work.

Defined Outline

In most cases soft swingers won’t participate in everything sexually as full swingers would. While they are open enough to participate at clubs and events, the actual physical participation is limited to those two people. Others may watch, and have sex in the same room, but they will typically not swap partners in any way.

Soft Swapping

Another variation of soft swinging is soft swapping. With this partners may agree to participate sexually with others, but only certain activities are allowed. In most cases no penetration is allowed. Even though soft swinging is typically limited to oral sex, some couples may choose to involve a few other activities with established rules.

Who Soft Swings?

Many couples choose to participate in soft swing or soft swaps for a variety of reasons. Couples who are new to the scene may choose to start with soft swinging as a way to break in to the scene. A lot of couples will also choose to do this for safety and health reasons. It’s not uncommon for those who participate in soft swinging or swapping to expand their rules later to include other activities. Soft swingers are always welcomed at swingers clubs, but private parties may limit the number of soft swingers simply to keep the activities diverse.